My heart leapt with joy at the sound of singing coming from my daughter’s bedroom a couple weeks back. Beautiful melody is common from my teen who has won multiple talent shows and serves as a lead singer on her youth group’s worship team. What caused this song to capture my heart was the literal way it illustrated this blog’s “In Darkness Sing” theme.
At her request, over our past month, I have refrained from sharing identifying details. However, issues have now progressed to a life-altering levels, tested and researched enough to lead us to believe we may be facing these challenges for the long-haul. Hope and peace continually collide with fear, anger, and grief.
What made my songbird’s worship touch my heart so deeply 15 days ago (and every day since)? The understanding that just the day before her song reverberated down our hallway, her eyesight had totally vanished, after just a 48-hour battle. In the terrifying wake of uncertainty, blind faith in her Creator was being very literally tested. Her grace astounded, challenged, and convicted me as I wrestled through my own confusion.
I am writing from our 3rd hospital in 3 ½ weeks, this time a major, out-of-state one we had to fly to on Sunday. Monday involved 4 ½ hours of one-on-one appointments with two different specialists. Yesterday was another 6+ hours with an even more unique sub-specialist. We were admitted last night and got little sleep as major testing unfolded throughout the wee hours.
Questions and theories abound.
Answers remain few.
Our daughter remains sightless.
As we were sitting in our first appointment of Monday morning, our son called with his own fresh, raw, devastating news. Rick flew home on Tuesday to get back to our boys as one of them walks his first real grief journey.
My in-laws have been here. I’m so thankful. However, they cannot stay past Friday. Since testing could continue into the weekend or beyond, I’ll be checking into another Ronald McDonald House for an indefinite length of time. We are hoping there will be a room available tomorrow. In times like these, I really miss my ability to drive!
This I know:
Earth is temporary and fading. God is constant and eternal.
If my girl can sing praises to Him, in the midst of her darkness, I choose to do the same.