My Darkest Darkness

I’ve been blogging for more than a dozen years, but since this is a new blog, you may be a new reader. Even if you have known me personally for decades, you likely don’t know this about me.


The single-most intense part of my past year, really of my entire life, has been coping with some deep-seated trauma from childhood, that has negatively impacted me for over four decades. This finally came to bear a little over a year ago, in ways that required immediate and intensive help. Thanks to the ministry of Hope Preserved, I am a changed, free woman today.

The abuses that transpired on the mission field in Asia, God has stepped in and dramatically healed. Every part of my life has been transformed, from how I relate to the ongoing limitations of my strokes (allowing God room to bring about several significant physical healings in my body in 2018, added to all He had already done in 2017; and grace to live to the fullest in areas where limitations yet remain), to my views on of self and pleasing God, like headcovering (a practice I no longer observe).

What was done to me when my parents were targeted by the enemy, was done “in the name of worship.” This abuse has messed with my head and heart for decades. I finally know, deep down in the deepest parts of my heart, that I am a daughter of King Jesus. I am learning what it means to worship in spirit and in truth.

Back in December or January, I left this review on the Hope Preserved  introduction video:

A year ago, I likely would have rejected this video. But, by God’s profound grace, I’ve lived the truth and freedom presented here over the past 10 life-changing months! I went from not even understanding the concept of “parts” of my soul, to actively seeing how my silent, but shattered, pieces, had been profoundly impacting me, and thus my family, for over 40 years. Thank you Hope Preserved, for walking me through this journey as Jesus brings profound healing and freedom to my life. – Jennifer Saake, author,

The final post on my old stroke blog, offers fuller context recent seasons of my life. This is pretty much all I’m ready to say quite yet. It has been my “bravest brave” to go public with my “darkest darkness” and even share this much publicly yet. Yes, we are talking events from over 40 years ago, but we are talking healing from less than a year ago, in some cases, just several weeks ago. The process is still fresh. I’m still settling into my newfound freedom in Jesus.




Why “In Darkness Sing”?

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, confidence in things unseen, according to the Bible, defined in Hebrews 11:1.




Faith has also been described (by many people, in various twists on this basic wording), like a bird who senses dawn approaching, and boldly begins a song to herald the imminent sunrise, courageously singing, even though still plunged in darkness.

I want to be that bird!

In darkness of stress and struggle, I sing out my faith in Jesus Christ, my sure hope. I am confident in my eternal security and comfort because of His shed blood of the cross and bodily resurrection.  – Jennifer Saake


Please come along with me?

I’m just learning this whole WordPress thing. Thank you for your patience as I get my new page all set up. For now, find me here: – My main author page. – My story of surviving and thriving after six, chiropractor-induced, near-fatal strokes, at age 39. (Also – Stories of struggle and inspiration, and updates concerning my next book. – Christians with chronic pain or illness.

HannahsHopeCover – My unfolding experiences in motherhood after a painful decade of longing and loss. – Several years worth of archived blog posts offering encouragement for growing your family amidst infertility, miscarriage, or adoption loss. (Active posts may be found at ) (I’m just learning Instagram too. Any tips?)


I also invite you come explore all the beautiful hair jewelry and accessories I sell at

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